


Sleeping

by Pinkshiori



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Comfort, Depression, F/F, Friendship, Pre-Relationship, but not really, post 4a, pre swanqueen, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-26 01:17:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9855647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkshiori/pseuds/Pinkshiori
Summary: After 4A something's wrong with Emma. Who will notice ? Hint : not Hook.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I started this during the SQ week last July, so months ago. You know when you get those random bouts of inspiration and just write and write and write until you suddenly stop and it then takes ages to get the thing finished. None of this would exist without Hana (SecretSmile101) who beta-d it and indeed managed to turn into something I actually care about. I don't know what to say to you right now, so let's just stick to thank you, thank you very much for dropping that huge “red text bomb”, it definitely needed that.  
> The prompt was “Sleeping” and while most of you went full on fluff, all I could think of was sleeping as a symptom of depression. Bear in mind that this story was started before season 6 started airing. Though I am quite happy to see Emma going through therapy with Archie, I remain convinced that they are not addressing the real issue. I was deeply unsatisfied with the way the show left things hanging after 4A, Emma lost the closest thing she ever had to a mother for the second time, as well as someone they took great care to build up as a sister and then it was like everyone forgot about those characters altogether, this is my way of fixing this. Finally: Emma listens to Imagine Dragons, fight me on this!

_“WHEN THE DAYS ARE COLD AND THE CARDS ALL FO--”_

Emma blindly reached for her phone and shut off her alarm. Lately she had become quite good at waking up just enough to do that and go back to sleep straight away. But the third alarm was the last one, the one after which she could not afford to sleep in. Emma knew she had to get up, she had already been late to work twice this week and it was only Thursday. One day Regina would notice and, as the newly re-appointed Mayor, she would have her skin. Still, she wasn't ready to leave her bed, not yet. She could skip breakfast and grab something from Granny's, or, better yet, save a few more minutes and eat at the station, there had to be a granola bar somewhere inside her desk. Five minutes for a shower, two minutes to put on clothes and tie her hair up, screw make up and she could squeeze in ten more minutes of sleep. Yes, that sounded heavenly to Emma as she rolled over and wrapped her blanket tighter around herself.

“Emma... Emma... EMMA!”

“I'm awake!”

Emma sat up with a jolt and saw Mary Margaret holding a fussy Neal over her. Ignoring the child she focused on her mother. “What time is it?”

“It's almost 7:30, I thought you were getting ready but I didn't hear the shower so... you're not sick, are you? You said you would drive us to work, remember ?”

“Shit, sorry.” Emma groaned and rubbed her eyes. She had totally forgotten that Mary Margaret's car was being serviced this week and with David covering the night shifts with the cruiser they all depended on the bug.

“I know, I know, sweetie, it's okay” for a second Emma thought her mother was talking to her in her weird baby voice, but she was just cooing to the actual baby in her arms “Emma's awake now and she'll take us to daycare and work, okay, we'll be a bit late, but it will all be okay, alright sweetie?” Then shifting her attention back to Emma: “I'll leave you to get ready, honey, just hurry up, please.”

“I'm sorry I overslept,” Emma said walking into the lobby as Mary Margaret was putting Neal's coat on.

“It's okay. Maybe you just needed to sleep, I know you're not a teenager. I understand,” Mary Margaret said. “Don't you Neal? Don't you?” she cooed again “Grown-ups need their sleep. We can't all afford to be fussy till two in the morning, can we?” Then back to Emma she asked “Did your brother keep you up last night?”

“Huh? Yeah, had to make up for it in the morning, I guess.” Emma answered absent-mindedly.

It was a lie, she had crashed just after dinner, not in the mood for TV or another one of Mary Margaret's baby rant. Truth was, she had just been really tired. Ever since they had sent the Arendelle sisters back to their world, things had been back to 'normal' in Storybrooke. Surprisingly this had actually made her job more difficult, as if the citizens of Storybrooke were so desperate for drama they needed to create mayhem themselves to make up for the lack of magical disaster. Then there was operation Mongoose, as Henry had called it, trying to bring Regina's happy ending, trying to make up for all her mistakes: so far it was leading nowhere. After Henry's discovery of the blank books they had been going from dead end to dead end, it was exhausting. And finally there was Neal: his erratic sleeping pattern and moody personality messed with her own rest. Not that she could blame the child though. This one was on her. It was her own fault for not having her own place at 30.

Yawning and stretching Emma walked into the Sheriff station ten minutes late and was greeted by a very familiar voice.

“Finally, look who's gracing us with her presence! Good morning, Sheriff Swan.”

“I'm barely awake and I skipped breakfast. What do you want?” Emma asked, unimpressed, more focused on the coffee maker at the back of the room than the woman perched upon her desk.

“You're late” Regina said dryly.

“I know, I'm sorry”. From the corner of her eye she saw David standing in the doorway to the storage room giving her a look that said 'I'm sorry, I don't know why she's here either.'

“That is the third time this week. Surely as a law enforcement officer you know better than to stay up so late you don't wake up in the morning.”

Emma sighed. How Regina knew about lack of punctuality this week was beyond her, but she just could not bring herself to care.

“I've just been tired that's all. And I said I was sorry.”

Regina frowned and looked over to David as though Emma had gone off script.

“Well, make sure to get appropriate rest from now on,” she said. “I cannot have town employees sleeping on the job or being so tired they're unable to tell when I'm joking and give as good as they get.” Regina's words were light hearted but there was a look of concern hiding behind her smirk.

Emma nodded silently, helping herself to a cup of stale coffee and putting it in the microwave. “Was there something you needed, Madam Mayor? Or may I get on with my day?”

Regina made a face at Emma's choice of beverage. “Paperwork” she said, gesturing to the pile of files she had left on Emma's desk. “I need you to review the report on the cannery window smashing incident before tomorrow at noon, don't be late this time.”

“Right, and of course you couldn't leave it with David.”

Regina shot her a dark look. “As much as it pains me to say it, Miss Swan, you're the official person in charge here. Also... I wanted to make sure we were still on the same page for Saturday.”

“Henry spends Friday night at the loft, then I take him to your place in the morning for brunch, before he goes to the Tillman's to spend the day building tree houses in the woods. Although I don't get how they figured it'd be a fun thing to do, I haven't forgotten. I'm tired, Regina, not a goldfish.”

Regina gave a little smile. “10:30, don't be late.” she said and left the station.

 

Emma opened the first file of the pile. “Great, as if I didn't have a hard time keeping awake already.”

David walked back into the office to gather his things. “Take it easy,” he said, kissing the top of Emma's head “Regina's right, you do look really exhausted.”

“Thanks, David, Sleep well after your shift.”

Fifteen minutes later a delivery boy walked into the station with a paper bag from Granny, inside was a tall cup of freshly made coffee and a bear claw wrapped in oily paper. A note was stapled to the bag:

_“Please do throw away that appalling concoction you call coffee. I cannot afford to have my personnel suffer from food-poisoning in addition to sleep deprivation. Mayor Mills”_

Okay, so the coffee made sense, but the bear claw?

Why was Regina suddenly being so nice to her? Great, another thing she owed Regina, Emma thought. As if having to make up for destroying her happy ending wasn't enough, now Emma had to find a way to reciprocate those random acts of kindness. Still, food was food and she wasn't going to let it go to waste. Besides she needed to get her energy from somewhere, she thought as she bit into the pastry with a moan.

 

After two hour of fighting boredom over Regina's paperwork Emma was ready to call it quit and have a quick nap on the jail cot when Hook sauntered into the station.

“Hey love” He said, walking to her and kissing her before she could say anything.

“Killian. Hi. Why are you here?” she asked when he finally let go.

“I was walking nearby and thought I might as well stop by for a kiss.” He had a glint in his eyes again. “And tell you how much I'm looking forward to his evening.”

Emma smiled weakly. “What's tonight?” she asked tentatively.

“Don't tell me you've forgotten, love, we talked about it on Tuesday when you told me you wanted to stay home instead of spending time with me. Tonight's when we rescheduled our date to.”

“Oh.”

Truth be told she wasn't in the mood to put up with him today either. As much as she liked him, Hook had quite a demanding personality. Emma didn't feel like she had the energy to spend a whole night reassuring him that, yes, she really liked him, but no, she didn't feel like making out agai right that minute. Or the minute after that. A whole night carefully choosing her words so as not to hurt his feelings, like not mentioning Neverland so as not to make him feel guilty, not mentioning Henry so as not to make him feel jealous of her family, and also not mentioning Regina, that one she was unsure as to why, but there had to be a reason. And then there was the talking. Talking all the time. Filling every single second with sound lest the silences stretched for too long and became awkward. No, really Emma was not in the mood for a night out with Hook.

“Actually... I'm not feeling too good today, would mind it if we... rescheduled?”

“Again? That's the fourth time you want to reschedule? Don't you care that I want to spend time with you?”

“Killian it's not that, it's just-”

“You're avoiding me.”

“Killian...”

“You know what Swan ?” Hook said bitterly. “I've had enough of this. Why don't you call me when you can be bothered to try.” He slammed the door on the way out.

Emma felt oddly calm about all of this. She fiddled with the bracelet Elsa had given her before she left whilst staring blankly at the pile of paperwork in front of her.

A nap was definitely in order. Fortunately the rest of the day was as uneventful as it could be, which was nice for a change.

 

The next morning was a bit rushed but hey, what else could you expect from a household of four plus a baby? Still Emma and Henry made it to Regina's right of time for once, as Regina couldn't help but point out.

“Alright kid, have fun with the Tillman's and be good with your mother.” Emma instructed as she hugged Henry goodbye.

“Wait,” Regina interrupted, “You're leaving?”

“Well, yeah.” Emma noticed the odd way Regina was looking at her. “What?”

“I thought you would stay for brunch then we could research the author after we drop Henry at the Tillmans'.”

“I didn't realize the invitation extended to me.” Emma answered awkwardly.

“You've got plans with Hook?” Regina asked bluntly.

Emma looked at her confused. “No, I think we broke up.”

Regina looked shocked “But you're not sure? Don't you want to try and find out?”

Emma shrugged “Actually it's not a big deal.”

She thought that she should feel sadder than she did, but the feelings just weren't there. For anything really, not just about Hook.

“Anyway,” Emma continued. “Snow and David are taking the baby on a hike all afternoon so I thought I would take care of some paperwork and maybe some laundry.”

Regina nodded “I understand. I would take advantage of Snow's absence too. That doesn't mean you can't stay and have something to eat.”

“I don't know, I don't want to impose on your time with Henry -”

“I made too much for two.” Regina interrupted.

Emma's stomach growled and she gave a bashful smile. “Okay, maybe I can stay for the food. But I really need to go after that.”

“Fine.” Regina said. Emma heard her mumble something about feeling shocked that Emma needed persuading to have food as the brunette walked into the kitchen.

 

Brunch was excellent, as usual when Regina's cooking was involved. Everything was homemade and taste perfect. It made Emma feel warm and happy and full yet empty at the same time. Because Regina kept giving and Emma could offer little except disappointment and lovers' dead wives in return. After helping Regina with the dishes she quickly said her goodbyes and jumped into her car.

 

“Have your noticed anything weird about your mother lately?” Regina asked.

“You mean the fact that she managed to stay awake for over four hours this morning?”

“What are you talking about?” Regina replied.

“She hasn't been doing anything else but sleep,” Henry said. “Remember last weekend when I spent the night with her and stayed over at the loft? I had to bribe her with chocolate just to get her to play some Mario Kart. We barely made it through three rounds before she decided she was beat and went to bed. Lamest Saturday night. Ever.”

“Well, that doesn't mean anything, maybe she was really tired. She'd been working night shifts all week.”

“Exactly! It should have been like morning for her. And this morning she could barely open her eyes. But I know she slept all 10 hours, because my cot is near her bed. All she does is sleep, sleep, sleep. Even last week when Mary Margaret offered to have a dinner out at Granny's she passed saying she wanted to turn in early, and you know how much she loves Granny's grilled cheese.”

Regina frowned “That is indeed unusual for her. But maybe she is just having a demanding time at work. We can't all have your energy, Henry.”

“Mom, it has been going on for weeks. What if something's wrong with her, like a curse or something? ”

“Who would cast that kind of spell?”

“I don't know. That's what we have to find out.” His eyes lit up with excitement.

Wasn't one operation enough for him? “Hold on Henry. Calm down. We don't even know whether there's a spell. There can be a perfectly non magical explanation.”

Henry pondered over her words for a few seconds.

“Mom, what if she's sick?” he asked in a small voice.

“Henry...” Regina's voice broke a little. “Emma is probably fine."

 

Emma hadn't been in bed long when she was disturbed by a loud knocking sound. She rubbed her head. It took her a few minutes to drag herself out from underneath the comforter and over to the door.

“Regina. Why are you making so much noise and why are you here?” She asked.

“Were you sleeping?” Regina demanded.

The Mayor's presence felt so unfair. She had tried. She had really tried. Upon arriving back at the loft she'd put on her comfortable glasses, poured herself some coffee and gathered all her overdue paperwork on the dining table. Two forms in she'd felt the urge to rest her eyes just for a few minutes. Ten at most.

Emma straightened her back. “So what? I am allowed to have a nap if I want to!”

Regina rolled her eyes “No need to get all defensive Miss Swan. I don't care what you do on your free time.”

“Why are you here then?”

“Henry asked me to check on you. He seems to be worried about your sleep patterns. And to be honest, after seeing you looking dead on your feet now I'm getting a bit worried too. ”

“There's nothing wrong with my sleep patterns!”

Regina raised and eyebrow.

“Okay, well, maybe I sleep a bit more than I used to. But how is that a bad thing?”

“Henry thought you under some kind of spell.” she says, almost smiling.

“That's ridiculous.”

“I know,” Regina soothed. “But I need to ask, is everything alright?”

Emma folded her arms. “I am fine, Regina. You're all overreacting.”

“And you're not ill...?” Regina asked.

“I am fine. I'm perfectly healthy.” Emma said firmly.

“How long has it been going on before Henry caught up on this?”

Emma sighed, “I don't know. A few weeks. A month maybe.”

“Would you consider seeing a physician?” Regina asked softly.

Emma scoffed “I'm not spending any money on a doctor when I know there's nothing wrong with me. Will you tell Henry I'm fine?”

It was Regina's turn to sight. “Okay, I'll leave you alone, just think about it, okay?”.

“Ok.” Emma said before closing the door.

“I'll be reminding you of this again later!” she heard Regina say from the other side.

 

Barely one week later Emma was forced to rethink. In a show of trust Mary Margaret and David decided to ask her to babysit baby Neal for a whole afternoon instead of hiring Belle again. After making sure he was fed and changed, Emma placed her brother in the play pen in the middle of the living room and settled on the couch with a bunch of file she had brought home from the station and started working on them. Regina would be proud. Every other minutes she would glance up, making sure he was still engrossed in the tower he was trying to build. But he was really quiet, the files pretty boring and the couch a bit too comfortable. Emma started drifting off to sleep.

She woke up to a loud crash and the wail of a baby. A broken vase and a controller were lying between the TV stand and the playpen. Water was slowly pooling around the vase. A red area was growing on the right side of Neal's forehead. Emma started to panic. This wasn't supposed to happen. I was too much right now. Her brother's wails made it impossible to think. The only thing that came to mind was to call Regina. She reached for her phone and dialed, praying the mayor would answer quickly.

“Regina. Neal is hurt. Could you come over?”

Emma picked up Neal and tried to calm him down whilst she waited. She wiped the blood off his brow.

Regina appeared in a cloud of purple smoke. She looked around to assess the situation and without missing a beat took the crying child from Emma's arms.

"Everything is fine," she said to Emma "it's just a small bump, I'm sure he was more scared than hurt." It was amazing how at ease she looked with the whole situation.

Regina waved a hand over Neal to heal the cut on his head. “So can you tell me why you had to interrupt my budget review?" she asked.

"I was... I was watching him and then I don't know, I just fell asleep,” she finished lamely, aware that Regina's earlier concerns might be valid after all.

Emma sat down on the couch. "How can I fall asleep while watching my own brother? Who does that?" she held her head in her hands and groaned. "What's wrong with me?"

"Maybe Henry's right and you do need to see a doctor Emma."

Emma groaned again. "Maybe... but I'm going out of Storybrooke, I'm not letting Whale get close to me."

"Sound like a plan, everyone in this town is due a real physician check up anyway, right?"

Emma smiled. "Right. Maybe don't tell Henry he was on to something too soon, otherwise the kid will be insufferable!"

 

After her fourth trip out of Storybrooke Emma was loosing hope and patience. No one could find anything wrong with her yet she always felt so exhausted. One some days she didn't even have the energy to do basic tasks such as cooking. It was a good thing she could rely both on her mother and Regina, as shared 'family' dinners at the mansion were becoming the norm on nights Henry switched from one place to the other.

“The doctor said everything's fine," she told Regina when she asked about her appointment after sending their son up to bed "They tested for mono, Lyme disease and a few other conditions I can't even pronounce but they said it was probably stress related Which isn't even a valid reason. Just a thing they say when they can't find out what's wrong."

Regina cleared her throat. “Maybe it is something related to stress.” she said gently. Henry made me read all those articles on disrupted sleep pattern and, well, some pointed to oversleeping as a symptom of depression.”

Emma scoffed. “I'm not depressed Regina.”

Regina just stared at Emma without saying anything and gave her a sad smile.

“What? I'm not. I can't be. I have my family, a good life here, and I'm the Savior, and the Sheriff. Sure sometimes I feel a bit down, but don't we all? I cannot have depression. People need me.”

“Stop,” Regina said, softly but firmly. “Stop pushing, please. I know how you work, I know you're in denial about this but it's not working on me.” She walked closer to Emma. “I'm afraid this is not something you can decide on. None of this is. And as much as you and most of the town would like to see you as some sort of infallible hero, you're only human in the end. You want to show everyone you're tough and strong but I know that the whole Ingrid debacle took a toll on you. Ever since then you've been going through the motions, alienating people, especially Henry.” Regina thought to herself for a moment. When was the last time you went out to hang out with people? I know Ruby's gone away,” she asked. “but when was the last time you met with Belle for coffee?”

“She's busy with--”

“Or Ashley? Or Aurora?” Regina interrupted.

“I lost them to Snow's stupid baby circle,” Emma confessed.

“And you didn't even care when the pirate took off.”

“We already talked about that, Regina, it's not –”

“It didn't matter. I know. That's what you said. So don't you see?”

Emma let out a long breath and sagged further into the couch when she finally realized; “That I'm lonely,” she said. There was a moment's silence between them and Emma started playing with the bracelet on her wrist again. “I miss Elsa.” she admitted sadly.

Regina nodded and encouraged her to go on.

“I... she... It was real, you know, I thought I had found someone, like, someone who would relate. And now she's gone and it's like she's never been there and I think I'm... lost...Like there's no one I can talk to who will actually listen and understand.”

Regina sat down next to her. leaving just enough space between them to avoid contact. She looked like she was thinking of hugging her or something.

“Maybe...” Regina started “Maybe I can try to be that for you.”

“I may never be able to replace Elsa, but I'm willing to listen and I think I might understand a lot.”

Emma thought about it for a moment and gave a tentative smile “I think that I would like that.”

“But,” Regina started and Emma's smile faltered. “Maybe, it would be good for you to talk to someone, a professional.”

“You mean like Archie?”

“Maybe not Archie, as you are already acquainted, but maybe a therapist outside of town.”

Emma gave a weary “You make it sound so simple.”

Regina shrugged. “It doesn't have to be complicated, you know.”

“Maybe you're right.” Emma admitted.

“I know I am.” Regina fired back.

Emma chuckled. “Okay, I might look into it then.” There was another pause in the conversation. “You know I'm the one who is supposed to be bringing back your happy ending, not the other way round. It's all backward.” Emma said, shaking her head.

Regina reached for Emma's hand and squeezed it.

“It doesn't matter what roles we have supposedly been assigned,” she said. “This is what friends do, isn't it?”

Emma squeezed back. She scooted just a little bit closer to Regina and tentatively put her head on her shoulder.

“Yeah I guess so.” Emma whispered, allowing the idea of letting Regina in to take hold.

“I know so.” Regina answered, letting her cheek rest on the top of Emma head.


End file.
